The War FOR Gluten

I’m annoyed. This post is a little TMI and full of swearing. Just a little disclaimer.

I’ve posted before about how my dumbass body decided a few years ago to stop tolerating several different kinds of foods. Gluten being one of them. I would get sick. Curled up on the couch moaning in pain sick. I stopped eating gluten, among other things, and I DO NOT get sick anymore. Not ever.

And I didn’t make that decision based on a fad that I heard about on my Facebook feed. I went to the friggin doctor, and he told me I had Non Celiac Gluten Sensitivity. Which was basically like going to the doc’s and having him punch me in the stomach. No more pizza, pasta, paninis, etc, etc…it was saddening. Some people don’t love food. I’m not one of them. I LOVE FOOD. And it loves me back. The doc also told me to cut back on dairy, and to limit processed foods. His reasoning for this? Simply because the human body was made to process certain foods, and weren’t meant for others. He said NOT EVERYBODY has this issue. (Clearly, or everyone would be shitting their brains out all the time, since the American diet is so processed foods heavy.) But obviously, I didn’t make the cut, and got a crap system that only craves meat and veggies and rice and saddness, while I crave pizza with extra cheese, a plate of nachos, and fettuccine alfredo.

So adjusting to this diet has been a serious challenge for me. It literally MAKES ME SAD that I can’t eat things that I like. When I go out to eat it SUCKS that I can only order a very small number of menu items, all the while being terrified that it will make me sick and ruin my time. When I go over a friends house, I’m embarrassed about these issues, and I don’t want to be a HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS, telling them they can only serve me meat and veggies….Hello, I can only eat expensive shit, do you still want to hang out?!

So here’s why I’m annoyed:

I’m annoyed for 2 reasons in regards to this video.

1. These idiots clearly don’t double over in pain when they eat gluten, and they have probably just jumped on the GF train to lean town, because IT’S TRUE, cutting gluten out does help you lean out. Just like eating low carb does. Cause gluten is found in a lot of carbs. HOWEVER, the dumb bitch who says RICE has gluten in it is misinformed, because rice is the SAVING GRACE of eating gluten free!!! (cause it’s gluten free, get your facts straight)

I’m not saying this isn’t funny. I love the second guy with the strange creepy cough thing going on. But all of you, stop making gluten free look like such a frivolous thing. Not all of us are trying to get six pack abs (Ok, that’d be awesome, and I clearly do care about fitness, but let’s be honest, if I could eat pizza without feeling like crap all the time, I WOULD DO IT)

Anyhow…

2. Why the eff do I need to know what gluten is to know that it hurts me? Do you ask cancer patients to explain their disease to you? (shut up, I’m not comparing my issue to cancer, IT DOES NOT COMPARE, calm down) Do you ask kids who are allergic to nuts to explain what makes them allergic? No. Because if something doesn’t work inside of you, if you are broken in some way that causes you pain, people aren’t supposed to grill you about it.

Yes, these people had it coming, because they are dumb. However, this attitude towards people who are gluten free is going to permeate throughout society, until everyone assumes that if someone says they are gluten free, they aren’t doing it for health reasons, they are just following a “fad.”

Let me tell you, it isn’t a “fad” that I’m following when I don’t eat gluten. It’s a sad fact of my life that now my body doesn’t WORK PROPERLY.

So, yes, I’m annoyed when being gluten free is referred to as a fad. And I get angry when people assume I’m just trying to lose weight (I usually am ANYWAY, but that’s not the point). And it saddens me to see people posting this video all over Facebook with negative comments about individuals who have to eat gluten free. Maybe instead of having an opinion on something you know nothing about, you should be thankful you can eat a SANDWICH without worrying about how much time you’ll have to sprint for the bathroom.

Hm, I feel a little better now that I’ve gotten that off my chest. Here’s what set me off in the first place:

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2014/05/14/gluten-intolerance-fake_n_5327420.html

Good thing we have the Huff Post around to give us such stellar medical advise. The quote at the bottom: “There are a lot of people that hear from their friends, ‘I got off gluten and I sleep better, the sex is better, and I’m happier,’ and then they try it and they feel better, too. The power of suggestion.”

To this man I have a few things to say…

1. Who the eff would give up pizza and pasta for better sex and sleep. That is ridiculous. If you can’t make those happen on your own, you’re a complete ass.

2. How about this instead? “I got off gluten and I didn’t feel like I was going to shit my pants anymore.”

More convincing?

I thought so.

 

 

 

The Slippery Slope of Hangover Snacks

Who saw my pics on Facebook from my friend’s wedding last Saturday night?! Omg so much fun. Unfortunately, it was also so much FOOD AND DRINK!!! I swear it took me until Wednesday to recover. Not just from the hangover, either…well…maybe, but also from all the snacks. Attending a wedding, drinking the bar dry, and stuffing my face that night, as well as the entire next day, in hopes of alleviating the feeling of death I caused myself, is not really the smartest decision. Yes, I was living in the moment and having a great time and creating some awesome memories, but damn I’m just too old for that shit now. The alcohol seriously makes me SO ANXIOUS. For at least three days afterwards I’m bothering my husband every five minutes asking if he’s mad at me. (hint: when you bother someone with this question every five minutes…they WILL eventually be mad at you, even if they weren’t before!) (in all seriousness, my husband could win awards for putting up with my bothering, he’s pretty awesome.)

The alcohol causing anxiety thing is not really new news, I’ve known for awhile that if I have a good bit of wine, I’m going to regret it in more ways than just craving McDonald’s the next day. I’m going to get that McDonald’s and then feel anxious about eating it. And then feel anxious about feeling anxious about it…anxiety is so annoying like that. I really need to remember to remind myself this before I start imbibing, and not the day after.

However, as of yesterday, my body seems to have fully recovered. Sadly, my bathroom scale says otherwise. What a pesky little thing it is. It’s all flashy and red, it calls out to be stepped on, which is when it snares you in it’s trap. It’s not really friendly at all. In fact, it’s really only there to say HA! I KNEW YOU HAD NO WILLPOWER AND WOULD STEP ON ME THE DAY AFTER EATING HANGOVER FOOD!!! Which I did, of course, and of course I should have known better, because the number was ridic, and shouldn’t be a number that the scale is allowed to display.

For me, letting myself have a night like I did on Saturday is such a slippery slope. I definitely am like, “It’s just for tonight, it’s a special occasion,” in my head, and then the next day when I feel like poo warmed over, I think, “well, it’s just cause I feel so awful today”…and then I feel awful for two more days…and then being bad becomes a bad habit again! Slippery slope…more like icy ravine where healthy eating goes to die.

I’m so clever with the metaphors. I just had to google ‘metaphor’ to make sure that was the right word…

Here are some pics from Saturday night. Such a pretty bride!!! As I ate the food, I thought to myself that I should take a pic of it for the blog…but then I ate it all. IT WAS AMAZING.

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2 10k Races In Less Than 1 Month?!! Ah

It’s just now dawning on me that I am running two 10k’s mid April. I’m a big dummy and signed up for one 10k on Saturday and then another one the day after. I’m not signed up for any more races for the summer…just those two, back to back (ok except for THIS one, but it’s more of a fun race than a running a race for time race). My planning skills might need some help, cause the more I think about it, the more I realize: That shit is going to suck. I should have just signed up for another half marathon and just died that way. JUST KIDDING that is a way worse idea, at least now I get a night between halves of a half! … if that makes sense.

Anyhow, I haven’t run at all this winter. Yes, it’s been nicer out here and there, and I’ve seen people posting about their runs on those nicer days on Facebook. But guess what? Nice days just means the stupid snow has melted all over the sidewalk, creating mud that will just get all over me if I go for a run. So, no thanks. I’m just banking on my being in relatively good shape to be able to put a good solid two-three weeks of running in and be able to hold my own (aka run at least a 12min mile at both races).

Gone are the days that I vied for running a 10k under 60 minutes, when I cared a lot about running under 10min miles. Now, it’s ‘Yeah, I just crushed that 12min mile!’ … Actually, I’m pretty good at training MINIMALLY and then having pretty non embarrassing race day times. Not that I’d be embarrassed to run SIX MILES real slow. It’s six miles people. That’s a long haul. Training runs are always awful for me, though. Some people were born to run. They are made for it. My stubby legs were made for walking to the fridge. Or the wine rack….

This is the inspiration I need!

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Anyhow, bring it double 10k weekend. I know at the end of you, I’ll be happy. Because not only is the Sunday 10k one of the my ultimate fave races (Clyde’s 10k in Columbia. Go sign up. Giant hill around mile 4. A real soul crusher), but it also has a GIANT BUFFET at the finish line. That always inspires me to run way faster, in fear that too many people will finish before me, and there will be no food left….hm, maybe I should start running now…

Here’s a little throw back to my first time running the Clyde’s 10k in 2009 (WHY was that so long ago!!) which was my first time running a 10k!

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What up, 22 year old me. 

Also, I want to hang out with this girl, I like her style.

Amy – 0, Netflix – 1 Million

Remember when I said last week that I’d be posting more that same week? Clearly that was a lie, as I’m just now getting back to blogging. How can I be so busy, but at the same time, so UN busy?! Had a snow day on Monday and while I cooked and then cleaned the kitchen, I finally gave in and gave Scandal another try. BAD IDEA. Now I only want to watch Scandal. I’ve realized that I have a Netflix problem. I don’t want to read anymore, I just want to Netflix. I have like four half read books on my bed side table, they vary from informational, serious, comedy, and romance. I couldn’t get through any of them, and I blame Netflix, for making available to me horrible non original fluffy characters making bad decisions any time I want to get my fill of that nonsense (always). Because clearly it is NETFLIX’s fault that I have no willpower, and not my OWN fault…I think I need to re-prioritize.

So, let’s talk goals! My goal is to finish one of those books before the end of the month. That gives me a little less than two weeks to bang out a few hundred pages of reading. I’m a pretty fast reader, so as long as I can keep myself away from the pull of cheesy love stories, hot boys and girls making unrealistic decisions, and silly high school drama, I should be alright. You know what isn’t a silly show? Friday Night Lights. You want to know why? The husband and wife on that show are AMAZING. I want to be them when I grow up. (Cause I’m still a youngster)

Oh, exciting news! (to me at least) There is another challenge starting on Monday at the gym I go to. (Best gym ever, I seriously will talk to anyone who will listen about how awesome my gym is, I’m pretty sure people think I’m obsessed weirdo. But seriously…my gym beats your gym in awesomeness) So I’m not entirely sure what the challenge entails, but I get real into challenges. Any extra motivation to get my ass outta bed at 6am is DEFINITELY needed. This morning was rough, I lazed around too much, and by the time I got to the gym, I only had about 30 minutes to get in a good workout, so I chose 50 vested burpee jump pullups, 600 meters on the rowing machine, and then 4, 3, 2 and 1 floors of stair sprints. It sorta sucked. And by sorta I mean: I effing hate vested burpees.

What has everyone been eating lately? Cause this past weekend I went off the deep end of bad eating. Like I dove into the abyss of the ocean and sank to the bottom, that’s how bad. Pizza bad, and not gluten free pizza…gluten FILLED pizza. Chris got mad because I ate all the cheese off most of it, actually, and left useless dough. When you’ve had a few wine spritzers and it’s time to order some tipsy snacks…and pizza is the only thing available…it’s hard to say no!

We did do some useful chores this weekend, though, like moving our office out of our guest bedroom and down into the basement. We have a small townhouse, so doubling up on rooms is unfortunately a necessity. I seriously don’t know what we are going to do when we eventually have a child and have to put all that crap somewhere…we have NO MORE ROOM. Gonna have to put that child on the deck I guess…babies like the outdoors right??

Here are some pics of our moving this weekend. And of some yummy snacks!

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What a helpful wife I am, taking pictures at a time like this! In all seriousness, I didn’t have to gym that day, because it took all my strength to help get this EFFING CHAIR up two flights of stairs. It got wedged multiple times, we had to take the railing off, and FYI when you move a recliner…it WILL recline mid move and smash you into the wall or in the face! But look how pretty the basement is now!

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Now some of you may not know, but I fancy myself a pretty good cook. Baking, on the other hand…I’m real bad at. Mostly because I don’t like recipes and I enjoy just throwing things together that I think should go together. This doesn’t work with baking, because baking is like science…and I bet you can guess how good at science I am (BAD, just like math) So, the blueberry muffins came out real well, but the gluten free chocolate cupcakes were only so so because I ran out of honey so they weren’t sweetened. I’m fine with that because I don’t like sweet stuff, and the coconut flour adds some sweetness anyhow, but I’m pretty sure anyone else would have complained. The masterpiece of the weekend was my chocolate Guinness cake with Bailey’s cream frosting. Chris said it was awesome, but I didn’t taste the cake. I did taste the frosting, though, which was ridiculously sweet (maybe it was the whole box of confectioners sugar I put into it). But it did taste like Baileys, so that was yummy. I did bake the cakes at 100 degrees higher than I was supposed to…I blame our crappy old oven(it was totally my fault)…but they still came out not charred and edible. Next culinary experiment: homemade coconut milk ice cream.

Building Furniture & Avoiding Snacks

I’m writing this on my new tablet! Very exciting. Since Chris switched positions at the beginning of the year, I haven’t had more than one minute on our computer, so it was sorta conflicting with my goal to blog more! A tablet seemed like a good investment. Plus, they are awesome!! It was hard to choose one, though…why the eff are there so many kinds!!? And they literally all seem to do the same crap. So, how did I choose? Went with Google’s tablet!! Duh, Google rocks. Now where is their self driving car!?

OK, anyway, back to the point of this post! To talk about me! Just kidding!! (Sort of…) So since my Whole30 (30 days of deprivation from awesomeness), I thought my eating and drinking habits would sort of go back to normal…like cheese, wine, pasta, Mexican food to the face 24\7…(don’t worry, I’m kidding about wine 24\7!) However, I haven’t been doing any of those things. Granted, I have been having some “bad” things, but nothing like the cheese overload I envisioned doing every day of my Whole30.

In order to stay on track I’ve had to keep myself busy. Avoiding temptation is effin hard! Especially when someone leaves a box of wine in my fridge!!! Ah. Its always there. Calling my name. Hey Amy, drink me, I’m so tasty mixed with seltzer! Ugh. So what does a girl do to avoid a box o wine calling her name? Build furniture with her husband!

Check out our handiness!

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Kitten was helping us with our measurements…

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Building before the storm hits!

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Finishing touches and final product!

Not so bad for first time builders, right?!

Another challenge is about to start at my gym. This means I’m about to get REAL competitive…I love challenges!! This one could get dicey…apparently they count how often you’re at the gym (so clearly I have to go every day) and we are going to have to use that dreaded scale that measures body fat. MY ENEMY.

Who’s excited?!

Whole30 DONE, (face plant into plate of cheese)

As of last night, I officially finished my Whole30!! I was pretty excited, and basically went face first into a heaping plate of cheese enchiladas, which were accompanied by a few hard ciders. What? Can you blame me? A month without cheese and alcohol…I was clearly deserving of these things.

Let’s do a recap of my 30 days…since I didn’t keep the blog updated AT ALL! I really am trying, but every time I get the computer all to myself…I start watching some crap show on Netflix (have you seen Pretty Little Liars?? DON’T WATCH IT! IT IS SO BAD…and by that I mean I love it and can’t stop watching it….it’s a problem).

Anyhow…recap:

I got a lot of “sooo what are you eating during this thing…??” Here are some examples of the yumminess I consumed:

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Yummy avocado stuffed, bacon wrapped, jalapeno peppers for Super Bowl snacking

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The beginnings of a roast that would end up braising in the crock for the whole day.

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Check out that steam! Beef chili with broccoli and pineapple thrown in for extra goodness.

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Even kitten wanted some of these wings…bad cat

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Sugar and nitrate free ham, baked with a spicy mustard sauce, along with some zucchini fritters I fried up.

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Post workout, pre grocery shopping breakfast from the Wegman’s salad bar. I wish I could live there.

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Plates picked dry after a tasting of different meats and veggies at a paleo author’s book release party in DC…yes there are fries, no, I didn’t try them. Heard they were good though!

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Breakfast of champions…few eggs scrambled with some of the ham from before, and green veggies. YUM

During these 30 days it wasn’t all smooth sailing…especially when Chris went away, and I was alone in the house for a weekend…alone in the house to me usually means: if nobody sees you eat it then it doesn’t count….so I had to find things to occupy my time so I wouldn’t order a pizza or go out and buy wine!

So I redid some furniture!

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Then it snowed…

IMG_1061 … a lot

It was sad having a 5 day weekend that was awesome snack and booze free, so again, I had to find things to do to occupy my time. Like making macaroons that I couldn’t eat, and brushing kitty…which was a dangerous job…that cat can swat.

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When I went out with friends to a bar, I did a lot of this: (hint, there’s no alcohol in that mug)

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So that’s the sum of my 30 days! A lot of eggs, meat, and veggies.

I’m working on another post that will actually delve into what I learned, what the results were, etc…(Preview: the results were awesome)

 

St. Charles 10 Miler

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This race was HARD. I think part of that was most likely due to a few unfortunate factors combined…

1. I hadn’t really been able to eat much the week before.

2. I hadn’t really been MOVING much the week before.

3. I HATE running in any heat (which is why I signed up for Tough Mudder Virginia Beach on June 8??? Sorry team, I should have mentioned what a wimp I am in the sun!!!)

4. I dislike running up hills just about as much as I dislike running in the heat…and there were many of these:

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This picture doesn’t do the hills justice…I was unpleased! (Yes, I used this blog as an excuse to stop and take a pic!! Like I needed an excuse for a break…) I definitely had a few moments at the tops of hills where passing out seemed imminent…but thankfully, I was able to power through and finish. Yay for finishing, although NOT my best time for a 10miler at all. Oh well, I’ve got two more lined up for this summer anyhow 🙂

On Monday night a friend and I planned a healthy dinner night, which was a lot of fun. She made curried sauteed chicken with spaghetti squash, and I made meatloaf and green beans.

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Everything was SO GOOD. I started buying grass fed beef from Evermore Farm and it is amazing, plus I feel good about eating it. Seriously, if you can spare the money, it is a great investment. If the additives in commercially sold meat isn’t enough to turn you off of it, then the treatment of the animals might change your mind 😦 Eat happy animals!! They taste better, for sure.

Here’s a pic of my workout buddies from this morning! I did 3 sets of:

10 pull ups (ok so I can do 1 full pull up with a jump start and then 9 hanging pathetic 1/8 pull ups)

10 push ups

10 tricep dips

10 bicep curls

10 tricep extensions (think this is what they’re called…)

5 lateral raises (this is pathetic, I know, but 10lbs is heavyyy!)

10 rotational dumbbell presses

Not so bad for a get up too late to gym it so have to work out at home workout!

 

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