30 Day Beach Countdown

Ok, so I started counting down to the beach…somewhere about 80-90 days out from the actual vaca. I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited for a vacation. I’m not sure if it’s because I genuinely NEED a vacation (I do), or because I’m SO EXCITED to hang out with AWESOME people, or because it’s THE BEACH, or because I get to subsist solely on quesadillas and BUD LITE LIME…it’s probably all of those…but I am way more excited for the beach than I usually am.

However, in preparation for the beach, I’ve been trying to lean out a bit, or at least maintain my current physique (that word makes me sound like a badass, maybe a better description would be ‘current body status’) … and it is NOT going as planned!! For one, I have an extreme case of Adult Senioritis. This is something I’ve just made up. And it doesn’t really make sense, since it’s not like work is ending and I’ll be out for the summer. But in my head, that seems to be the case. All I want to do is summer activities like barbecue, eat bad food, drink margaritas and rum runners and bud lite limes, and play yard games. And yet, I’m at work Monday – Friday, only dreaming of these activities. So when the weekend comes, it’s hard for me to drink water, eat well, and exercise it up. Like I said…all I want to do is eat, drink and play.

I decided I needed something that would keep me in check, so I signed up for group training at my gym (#bestgymever). Knowing that I would have to keep a food diary, and would be working out hard, I thought that would help me stay in line. OMG I couldn’t have been more WRONG. Pretty much as soon as I was starting to track my food, the Stanley Cup Playoffs started. Well, my husband and I have no cable, so we have to go out to bars to watch. And then my teams started losing. So clearly, I drank like a fish and ate wings like a boss. Fail #1. Then, husband and I went on a weekend trip to Chincoteague & Assateague Islands, in VA (you know, with the wild ponies). We had a GREAT relaxing and fun weekend. But it involved fried seafood and mimosas and ice cream sundaes for dinner. So basically the best weekend ever, although clearly not helping me on my goals to fitness before the beach. Fail #2.

When we started the group training program at the gym, we were supposed to write down some goals for ourselves. Mine were drink no more than 2 glasses of wine per week and no other alcohol (fail), stop eating cheese (extra fail), drink 100 ounces of water/day (semi fail). Clearly there is work to be done in the inhaling of food department. However, my lifting goals are going well. I wanted to increase my weight on Turkish Getups, which I’ve been working on diligently, and I wanted to make my way to 25 pushups (real ones) in a row, which I’m SO CLOSE to. So, overall I guess everything isn’t a wash, since at least I’m making strength progress.

I’ve gotta get it together in the nutrition department, though. Unfortunately, as much as it is annoying to hear, it’s incredibly true when ‘they’ say “Abs are made in the kitchen.” For sure they are. And I can tell you they are NOT made at the liquor store, nor at the chinese buffet. But wouldn’t it be AMAZING if they were?!

So, since I’ve been real lazy about blogging as of late, I’m gonna try and up my game in both nutrition AND blogging, and try to keep up my progress as we near beach week. OMG beach week WHERE ARE YOU, I need you now.

Did I mention I want to buy a skim board to use at the beach? Probably a bad idea, as I will most likely end up with a broken something or another, but they are SO FUN.

Here are some pics of my epic fail meals. Not only do these delicious treats keep me from my goals, but they make my body punish me in a hardcore way. I certainly paid in pain for all of these. But sometimes, the pain is worth the snack delight.

 

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Fried clams, fries, and hush puppies…what?!

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Pineapple sundae with almond joy icecream. holy yum.

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Is that a Ledo’s Pizza with sausage and bacon and a gluten free crust?! Yes it is.

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The War FOR Gluten

I’m annoyed. This post is a little TMI and full of swearing. Just a little disclaimer.

I’ve posted before about how my dumbass body decided a few years ago to stop tolerating several different kinds of foods. Gluten being one of them. I would get sick. Curled up on the couch moaning in pain sick. I stopped eating gluten, among other things, and I DO NOT get sick anymore. Not ever.

And I didn’t make that decision based on a fad that I heard about on my Facebook feed. I went to the friggin doctor, and he told me I had Non Celiac Gluten Sensitivity. Which was basically like going to the doc’s and having him punch me in the stomach. No more pizza, pasta, paninis, etc, etc…it was saddening. Some people don’t love food. I’m not one of them. I LOVE FOOD. And it loves me back. The doc also told me to cut back on dairy, and to limit processed foods. His reasoning for this? Simply because the human body was made to process certain foods, and weren’t meant for others. He said NOT EVERYBODY has this issue. (Clearly, or everyone would be shitting their brains out all the time, since the American diet is so processed foods heavy.) But obviously, I didn’t make the cut, and got a crap system that only craves meat and veggies and rice and saddness, while I crave pizza with extra cheese, a plate of nachos, and fettuccine alfredo.

So adjusting to this diet has been a serious challenge for me. It literally MAKES ME SAD that I can’t eat things that I like. When I go out to eat it SUCKS that I can only order a very small number of menu items, all the while being terrified that it will make me sick and ruin my time. When I go over a friends house, I’m embarrassed about these issues, and I don’t want to be a HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS, telling them they can only serve me meat and veggies….Hello, I can only eat expensive shit, do you still want to hang out?!

So here’s why I’m annoyed:

I’m annoyed for 2 reasons in regards to this video.

1. These idiots clearly don’t double over in pain when they eat gluten, and they have probably just jumped on the GF train to lean town, because IT’S TRUE, cutting gluten out does help you lean out. Just like eating low carb does. Cause gluten is found in a lot of carbs. HOWEVER, the dumb bitch who says RICE has gluten in it is misinformed, because rice is the SAVING GRACE of eating gluten free!!! (cause it’s gluten free, get your facts straight)

I’m not saying this isn’t funny. I love the second guy with the strange creepy cough thing going on. But all of you, stop making gluten free look like such a frivolous thing. Not all of us are trying to get six pack abs (Ok, that’d be awesome, and I clearly do care about fitness, but let’s be honest, if I could eat pizza without feeling like crap all the time, I WOULD DO IT)

Anyhow…

2. Why the eff do I need to know what gluten is to know that it hurts me? Do you ask cancer patients to explain their disease to you? (shut up, I’m not comparing my issue to cancer, IT DOES NOT COMPARE, calm down) Do you ask kids who are allergic to nuts to explain what makes them allergic? No. Because if something doesn’t work inside of you, if you are broken in some way that causes you pain, people aren’t supposed to grill you about it.

Yes, these people had it coming, because they are dumb. However, this attitude towards people who are gluten free is going to permeate throughout society, until everyone assumes that if someone says they are gluten free, they aren’t doing it for health reasons, they are just following a “fad.”

Let me tell you, it isn’t a “fad” that I’m following when I don’t eat gluten. It’s a sad fact of my life that now my body doesn’t WORK PROPERLY.

So, yes, I’m annoyed when being gluten free is referred to as a fad. And I get angry when people assume I’m just trying to lose weight (I usually am ANYWAY, but that’s not the point). And it saddens me to see people posting this video all over Facebook with negative comments about individuals who have to eat gluten free. Maybe instead of having an opinion on something you know nothing about, you should be thankful you can eat a SANDWICH without worrying about how much time you’ll have to sprint for the bathroom.

Hm, I feel a little better now that I’ve gotten that off my chest. Here’s what set me off in the first place:

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2014/05/14/gluten-intolerance-fake_n_5327420.html

Good thing we have the Huff Post around to give us such stellar medical advise. The quote at the bottom: “There are a lot of people that hear from their friends, ‘I got off gluten and I sleep better, the sex is better, and I’m happier,’ and then they try it and they feel better, too. The power of suggestion.”

To this man I have a few things to say…

1. Who the eff would give up pizza and pasta for better sex and sleep. That is ridiculous. If you can’t make those happen on your own, you’re a complete ass.

2. How about this instead? “I got off gluten and I didn’t feel like I was going to shit my pants anymore.”

More convincing?

I thought so.

 

 

 

2 10k Races In Less Than 1 Month?!! Ah

It’s just now dawning on me that I am running two 10k’s mid April. I’m a big dummy and signed up for one 10k on Saturday and then another one the day after. I’m not signed up for any more races for the summer…just those two, back to back (ok except for THIS one, but it’s more of a fun race than a running a race for time race). My planning skills might need some help, cause the more I think about it, the more I realize: That shit is going to suck. I should have just signed up for another half marathon and just died that way. JUST KIDDING that is a way worse idea, at least now I get a night between halves of a half! … if that makes sense.

Anyhow, I haven’t run at all this winter. Yes, it’s been nicer out here and there, and I’ve seen people posting about their runs on those nicer days on Facebook. But guess what? Nice days just means the stupid snow has melted all over the sidewalk, creating mud that will just get all over me if I go for a run. So, no thanks. I’m just banking on my being in relatively good shape to be able to put a good solid two-three weeks of running in and be able to hold my own (aka run at least a 12min mile at both races).

Gone are the days that I vied for running a 10k under 60 minutes, when I cared a lot about running under 10min miles. Now, it’s ‘Yeah, I just crushed that 12min mile!’ … Actually, I’m pretty good at training MINIMALLY and then having pretty non embarrassing race day times. Not that I’d be embarrassed to run SIX MILES real slow. It’s six miles people. That’s a long haul. Training runs are always awful for me, though. Some people were born to run. They are made for it. My stubby legs were made for walking to the fridge. Or the wine rack….

This is the inspiration I need!

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Anyhow, bring it double 10k weekend. I know at the end of you, I’ll be happy. Because not only is the Sunday 10k one of the my ultimate fave races (Clyde’s 10k in Columbia. Go sign up. Giant hill around mile 4. A real soul crusher), but it also has a GIANT BUFFET at the finish line. That always inspires me to run way faster, in fear that too many people will finish before me, and there will be no food left….hm, maybe I should start running now…

Here’s a little throw back to my first time running the Clyde’s 10k in 2009 (WHY was that so long ago!!) which was my first time running a 10k!

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What up, 22 year old me. 

Also, I want to hang out with this girl, I like her style.

Whole30 DONE, (face plant into plate of cheese)

As of last night, I officially finished my Whole30!! I was pretty excited, and basically went face first into a heaping plate of cheese enchiladas, which were accompanied by a few hard ciders. What? Can you blame me? A month without cheese and alcohol…I was clearly deserving of these things.

Let’s do a recap of my 30 days…since I didn’t keep the blog updated AT ALL! I really am trying, but every time I get the computer all to myself…I start watching some crap show on Netflix (have you seen Pretty Little Liars?? DON’T WATCH IT! IT IS SO BAD…and by that I mean I love it and can’t stop watching it….it’s a problem).

Anyhow…recap:

I got a lot of “sooo what are you eating during this thing…??” Here are some examples of the yumminess I consumed:

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Yummy avocado stuffed, bacon wrapped, jalapeno peppers for Super Bowl snacking

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The beginnings of a roast that would end up braising in the crock for the whole day.

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Check out that steam! Beef chili with broccoli and pineapple thrown in for extra goodness.

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Even kitten wanted some of these wings…bad cat

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Sugar and nitrate free ham, baked with a spicy mustard sauce, along with some zucchini fritters I fried up.

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Post workout, pre grocery shopping breakfast from the Wegman’s salad bar. I wish I could live there.

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Plates picked dry after a tasting of different meats and veggies at a paleo author’s book release party in DC…yes there are fries, no, I didn’t try them. Heard they were good though!

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Breakfast of champions…few eggs scrambled with some of the ham from before, and green veggies. YUM

During these 30 days it wasn’t all smooth sailing…especially when Chris went away, and I was alone in the house for a weekend…alone in the house to me usually means: if nobody sees you eat it then it doesn’t count….so I had to find things to occupy my time so I wouldn’t order a pizza or go out and buy wine!

So I redid some furniture!

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Then it snowed…

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It was sad having a 5 day weekend that was awesome snack and booze free, so again, I had to find things to do to occupy my time. Like making macaroons that I couldn’t eat, and brushing kitty…which was a dangerous job…that cat can swat.

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When I went out with friends to a bar, I did a lot of this: (hint, there’s no alcohol in that mug)

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So that’s the sum of my 30 days! A lot of eggs, meat, and veggies.

I’m working on another post that will actually delve into what I learned, what the results were, etc…(Preview: the results were awesome)

 

Baltimore Running Festival Race Day!!

I thought this photo was appropriate because I’m wearing my Baltimore Relay shirt from last year in it…Of course I also look ridiculous…which makes it even more appropriate!

     The race is tomorrow and I’m SO excited! I get really revved up for race day, no matter what race it is! Race atmospheres are so positive and enthusiastic (qualities I sometimes need more of, for sure). Race day always makes me feel like I am an awesome running bad-ass. Which, obviously, is the truth. In my head at least.

Anyhow, I just wanted to share my excitement for race day!! I love the whole experience…going to packet pickup (ok, this is usually a sh*t show of a time, but I still like it), running with people that are AMAZING and are doing the full marathon, and, of course, eating snacks and having beers after the race!! It’s always such a good day filled with fun times and good people!

Good luck to everyone running tomorrow!!!

Pre Tough Mudder Post of Terror!

Alrighty, so as some of you may already know, this weekend I’m participating in the Tough Mudder. What uuup! For any of you who don’t know what the Tough Mudder is, check out the video below!

Who’s excited for my badass video embedding skills!! I’ve been superrrr stressed about this course, I mean sh*t who are we kidding, I’m not exactly a fitness badass. But hey, I’ve been training a crap load, and I think I’m gonna do alright! I’m not really excited for the whole getting electrocuted thing, but hopefully it won’t be as bad as I’m imagining it to be!!! We’ll see. Have I mentioned that the rest of my team consists of actual fitness badasses?! Sheeesh, it’s gonna be a fun filled day!!!

On a side note, as I’ve been writing this I’ve also been watching The Lucky One. Holly moly…super hotness! I mean, the movie is whatever, but the hot man in it!? Heck yes. I bet he’d effin crush the Tough Mudder. I say all this but I literally have no clue what is name is….the guy who was in 17 Again (also an amazing movie, if you’re into that craptastic sort of stuff).

Ok enough about chick flicks! Back to the pre mudder terror-fest! Like I said, I’m pretty nervous, but what I’m really fearing is relatively amusing actually. I bought these new short pants….I guess capris is a better term, but short pants is what came to mind…anyhow, I bought them for the race because I wanted something that would be light weight after swimming, but also long enough to sort of protect my knees. So basically I just spent $40 on some shmancy Under Armour spandex pants that don’t go all the way down my leg. Hence me calling them short pants. I’m not getting to the point! They are THIN pants, and they are the kind you aren’t supposed to wear underwear with (sorry if that’s tmi). Soooo here is my dilemma: What if they rip on something and I’m not wearing undies?! So basically I have to wear them (the undies), because even though chances are my ass won’t snag on something, now that I’ve thought of it, I can’t stop thinking about how horrible it would be….I’m running a course that is over 10miles long, with over 20 obstacles that include running up a quarter pipe, carrying an actual log, jumping from twenty feet into ice water, and getting electrocuted…and what am I worried about?! My pants ripping.